As many of us have discovered, when you become a parent, there is no handbook.
There are definitely people with opinions and ideas (some of which may be thrust at you over and over and over again until you want to punch those people square in the throat), but no handbook.
There are things I knew I would have to teach my children.
- good table manners (we're still working on that)
- how picking a pee tree and doing the deed au natural when camping is a much different thing than doing it at the park
- when you are old enough to answer the phone always remember to say hello, just standing there and breathing heavily is not really an acceptable method of greeting
But there are also things that I did not know would come up.
This week it was round two of underwear ettiquette.
Lesson one last was last summer: (the rise and fall of Captain Underpantsless)
Lucas and I were shopping and I remembered that once again the boys needed new underwear.
(aside: how the heck do you wear out underpants? I am honestly baffled and would like to know)
So we picked a couple of packages and Lucas naturally gravitated towards the one with the pair of camo ones nestled between the grey and black pairs.
(I think he just thought he was thinking ahead to the fact that with camo underpants he would be able to flout the "One Aricle of Camo Clothing at a Time" rule I had to impose last year.)
Anyway, as soon as we got home, he ran upstairs to try on his new underwear. (He really can be a strange child at times).
When he came down later, strutting around, I noticed the front of his new gear looked like (excuse my indelicacy, but this phrase really sums up the look he was sporting) someone had dumped a load in the front of them.
He walked over and said, these underwear are kind of uncomfortable, mom, they go up my bum in the back...like those weird ones you wear.
He did a catwalk spin for me to show the offending bum creepers and that is when I noticed he had them on backwards.
I did take pictures. But I also promised him that I wouldn't show anyone.
So for now, I will just put them in the "future blackmail" file I have stored on my hard drive.
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I also have an extra issue of the May/June Simple Scrapbooks magazine up for grabs.
Simple Scrapbooks
It's kind of an exciting one for me, I was assigned all the bucket openers for this issue. And if you're like me and have no idea what "bucket openers" means (I just learned it a couple of months ago) it means I was assigned to do the layouts for the opening page of each section of the magazine.
So, if anyone can tell me how boys are able to wear out their underwear in under 6 months, this issue is all yours.
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