a pirate's life for me

I have been a contact and closet glasses wearer for the last 18 years.

Recently I decided to make the plunge and go for Lasik surgery to have my eyesight corrected.

I was given a pile of literature and a consent form to take home read over, which naturally, I shoved in a drawer and promptly forgot about.

Yesterday, I got a follow-up call from one of the very nice ladies that works at the clinic who wanted to schedule me in and make sure I had all the information that I needed.

Information like:

• you should cease and desist wearing all eye makeup from now until 2 weeks after the surgery
• you will need to bring sunglasses and a driver (how very J-Lo of me - too bad my driver is a cable guy driving a 1998 Astro Van with ladders on top - it kind of diminishes the glam of being "driven" - however he does have tinted windows, so that's pretty posh)
• you must wash your eyes for 3 days prior with a product called "Lid-Care" to take care of all the debris in your eyes (debris? in my eyes? alrighty then.)

And, this is where my mom, if she is reading, should cease and desist, maybe go pour herself a nice stiff drink and fight over the remote with dad.

• there is a section entitled "Vision Threatening Complications" and at the very end of said section, kind of thrown in there, almost nonchalantly it says:

                                ...loss of eye.

While being a pirate always kind of appealed to me (in a bodice ripping novel sort of way) I'm pretty sure I wouldn't rock an eye patch well. 

So I made a quick "hold the phone, sister" call back to the lovely lady at the clinic and asked for a little clarification and perhaps some statistics. 

Apparently, this has an extremely remote chance of happening, possible, but extremely unlikely.

So I decided to take that information and shove it in one of the drawers of my mind, and promptly forget about it.

Wish me luck.

Comments

[Candice]

You crack me up, girl. Totally reminds me of when I was at an OB appointment last year & remarked to the nurse that I was considering getting my esophagus stretched. She casually said, "Oh, my friend had that and they accidentally lacerated her during the surgery". Nice. I still haven't had it done. :p

[Dianne]

Thanks for the reminder to completely avoid going to the doctor. Yoinks!

[Leslie Herbert]

That is about as far as I would have gotten too Cheryl, I am way too chicken!

[Gorgeous George]

I've always wanted to be married to a Pirate!! Can they lob off a leg too? I find peg-legs to be OOOOHHH so Sexy!!...and by the way...it's a 97 chev astro chick magnet!!

[Marina]

Hilarious! Good luck with the eye surgery and the next few months of eye drops... It'll be worth it in the end.

[Jennifer Sizemore]

Ahoy matey!
enjoy being driven around town!

[Mel]

Go for it Cheryl, I did it and its the BEST thing I ever did! Mind you, I didnt beleive them when they said the pre-op sedative was strong - you know those moments when you 'think' you are thinking internally but you know by the looks of those around you that you said it out loud? well, I actually told my surgeon that he had Donald Trump hair which I really DONT reccomend!

Goodluck. :-)

[Jessica C]

Oh, good luck! I've had glasses since I was eight, so I know what it's like. If you have a chance to SEE, you gotta grab it! I'll be crossing my fingers for you. :)

[celeste]

let me know how it goes - i'm thinking about doing it early in 2009.

[Kelli]

Just do it, what do you have to lose? You have 2 eyes, the odds of losing both of them are probably pretty slim.

[mom]

so when are you having this done...I just got back..so hope I'm not too late. Actually Shawni had it done..and she is happy...just do what they tell you..love you mom

[margaret]

aaarrr. (only kidding.)

My in-laws have offered to have this done for both Jack and I and I'm still too chicken to do it. Then again, we live out in the styx so I'm not too confident of having our local farmer perform the surgery on me, ha!

By the way, I say go for it!

[michele]

i totally chicken out at the thought of lasik, even though i've worn coke-bottle glasses since i was eight. if you do it, i'll do it, eye patch be damned. (see, i'm counting on you not doing it. i'm not really the pirating type.)

[Jacqueline]

Cheryl, I know this is an old post but I hope somehow you get notified of comments made... my husband is an optometrist and while he does not do surgery, he is the doctor you see before and after surgery. I wore glasses since I was 8 and begged for many years for an operation that would help me see without them. He sees the results of so many surgeries and finally agreed to let me go to a surgeon in Victoria. The most important thing you can do if you are nervous is to check out the track record of the surgeon - there are a few surgeons/and/or/clinics who have been involved in a shocking number of lawsuits.... however many more are excellent. (Do not cheap out and go for the cheapest procedure - your eyes are no place to go with a bargain!) Next make sure you see a well-informed optometrist who can advise of YOUR specific needs. You may have visual issues that make a satisfactory result difficult. Also there is not just Lasik - I had PRK which is done with a laser but does NOT involve cuts to the cornea - rather it is more like it is sanded down to the right shape. I really liked that idea! And the after care is easy, because of the bigger issue: NOW you can see WITHOUT glasses! It has been 11 years for me and I think I still truly cannot believe that I don't need glasses! It seems like a miracle. And I get to wear cool sunglasses - even better!
Feel free to email me for more info... jkellam@shaw.ca
(PS I'm from the south okanagan originally...)